Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ways To Irritate Your Stock Broker

First of all let's get something straight, there is no such thing as a stock broker anymore.  These days after taking 10 tests that have nothing to do with finance, trading, economics or business you can receive a license to sell securities.  This will be the first of several that are required.

Next you must work for a large broker dealer and you will be doing exactly what you are told as there is absolutely no room for creative thinking.  These people are really administering tranquilizers to your assets putting them in a deep sleep while they shift them around in New York generating fees.

Don't fall for the "Balanced Approach" with a chart of your age and risk tolerance.  Let's take a look at the "Moderate Risk" segment which generally means stock exposure.  Here is a chart of the return produced by the S&P over the past 10 years:
Wow, that is pretty solid.  Good thing we went for the balanced return.  Wonder what the unbalanced returns looked like?

Another great way to toy with your broker, sorry Wealth Adviser, is to ask his opinion about precious metals.  Tell him you have been reading obscure blogs and really think it is a good idea to take some money out of the account and buy precious metals.  He will not go for that, bad idea.  You are in for a lecture after that question.  Maybe he will reluctantly place 3% of your assets in NYSE:GLD.  At that point if you want to blow up the relationship completely tell him that the prospectus for GLD Shares makes several risks very clear including the fact that the bars they hold might not be authentic!

Now he is really irritated.   For the final blow show this chart:
We are currently living in a period of negative returns on real capital.  If you hold cash in a money market fund we will not feel sorry for you when those funds crash.  The danger of the money markets is far larger than the returns offered.

If we must call these people Wealth Advisers should they not be able to advise us on any number of asset classes?  Why is it that they are only able to sell us garbage created by their offices in New York?  In some circles, an adviser has the fiduciary responsibility to give the client the most objective and sound advice possible.  Is that what your adviser is doing?

1 comment:

Warit Loud said...

Sing it Soulman!!!!