Sunday, February 27, 2011

Prep for This Weekend's Cocktail Parties

originally posted 2-23-11

Maintaining an objective view on markets and a social life can be difficult.  If you like interacting with others you are forced to put yourself directly in the middle of a dust storm of mental clutter and useless thoughts driven by emotion.  This can be dangerous if you are in the business of risking capital.  I am going to attempt to cover a few topics that might come up this weekend at a party that you may reluctantly attend.  This way you can be tethered to reality and Monday you will not be tempted to go long NFLX on margin and buy a 1.5% apr CD at your local bank.
“I Sure Am Glad Libya Is Finally Getting A Chance At Democracy”
This is a good one, and it might come up.  You may be temped to respond with, “Yeah, I hate paying for gas with $100 and getting change back, it will be nice when gas is $5 so I don’t have to deal with loose bills anymore.”  This is not appropriate though, keep it to yourself.  There are better ways to respond.  Try this, “Do you think that Libya’s access to the Indian ocean will be helpful in opening the country to trade?”  See how many incorrect geographic statements you can get the other person to agree with before you give in to the urge to throw yourself from the second story window.
“It Is So Sad That They Are Screwing Those Teachers In Wisconsin”
This is coming up for sure.  Just agree with them.  There is no explaining that the government there is spending $615 more than they are taking in for every man woman and child in the state.  You read that correctly, that is just the DEFICIT, not the whole budget or the pension issues the state is facing.  You will want to make comments like, “Why don’t they just give all those teachers a new Cadilac while they are at it?” but don’t.  This will leave you branded as insensitive.  A better response would be, “I know, I heard that the governor has the money but would rather give it to his friends so they can remodel the Packers stadium.”  This is better because there is just no reasoning with these people.  Also, who keeps buying the states bonds?  I still can’t figure out how the states are financing this out of control behavior.
Anyway, here are some other stories that you surely missed if you were busy trading the parabolic rise in oil and silver this week (we alerted you to both well in advance of their liftoff).
  • Charlie Sheen has a new girlfriend 
  • Lohan to get jail time in plea deal 
  • Alyssa Milano expecting first child
  • The Bachelor is down to 3 women
This should get you through any extremely boring situations.  You can always install a link to The Kwan Box on your iphone for emergency relief. 

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